Hurt won't bring me down
by becleecullen
Summary: Bella, at a young age was abused by her stepfather so she moves to Forks to live with her dad. To deal with her pain she drinks, a lot. She meets the Cullens, who get her to attend their youth group. Will it help her, or will her past get in the way?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one- What she's looking for

She gave up her love at 18 years old  
Said it was just a lie that the foolish told  
And finding herself all alone and cold  
She gave up on the world

She found some relief with a bottle in her hand  
But the bottle can be such a fickle friend  
She swore a million times she'd never drink again

"Breathe Bella, he's not here." I repeated to myself over and over again as I tried to calm my frantic beating heart. My breaths were coming out as gasps as I clutched at my throat, trying to force the air into my lungs. "It was just a dream." I said to myself. "Just a dream." I repeated as I climbed out of bed and headed down to the kitchen for a much needed glass of ice cold water.

I looked at the clock on the wall above the sink as I drank my water. "4:17 am. Great." I mumbled to myself as I climbed back up the stairs to the bath room for a hot shower. Hopefully that would help calm my nerves. I knew I would never get back to sleep, not just because of the same recurring nightmare, but in just a few short hours I would be starting my first day at Forks High School.

After a long much needed shower, I threw on my favorite pairs of jeans and a lose sweater, and headed back down to the kitchen. I knew I needed to calm my nerves before I had a panic attack, so I went to Charlie, my fathers, liquor cabinet and took a long sip of his vodka. I smiled to myself as I felt the cool liquid slide down my throat. In just a matter of minutes my nerves would be just fine.

I brushed my teeth, twice, getting the small of alcohol off my breathe before facing Charlie. He wished me good luck before I headed out the door to start my dreaded day.

As I pulled into the school parking lot, I noticed that I was the only one here, great. I pulled my head up and made a dash for the school. I easily found my way to the office in the small school. I quickly grabbed my schedule and a map and left to go take a look around. Knowing that I was a klutz, and a bit tipsy, I probably shouldn't of been walking around the halls with my nose shoved into my map. Suddenly, I ran right into something small and hard. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" I looked up to see a small pixie like girl, with short, spiky black hair, and bright blue eyes staring down at me. "Are you okay?" She asked, looking at me with concern. " I stood up, and brushed the back of my pants off with my hands. "Yeah I'm fine." She smiled at me. "You must be the new kid. I'm Alice Cullen, I just moved here with my family two years ago so I know what it feels like to be new too." I gave her a small smile back. "I'm Isabella Swan, but I prefer Bella." She let out a small giggle and hugged me. I was shocked at first but lightly patted her back. "Well Bella Swan, I think we'll be great friends." Before she could go one, the warning bell rang. "Oh! I have to go, I'll see you around, Bella." She hugged me again and then skipped off down the hallway. I just started at her for a few minutes, trying to figure out what just happened. A student walking by, knocked into me, snapped me out of my daze. I shook my head and headed off to my first class.

The morning flew by quick enough. The teachers seemed nice enough, and most of the work I already knew. I had Alice in my English class, and she insisted that I sit with her friends at lunch. I wanted to object but she was having none of that. So here I am, walking into the over crowed cafeteria, going to sit with Alice and her friends.

"Hey guys! This is Bella Swan, she's new." She said as we sat down at the table, which included four other people. "Bella, this is Jasper, my boy friend." I looked to who she was talking about and it was a guy with wavy hair blonde hair, just above his shoulders. He was very tall. He smiled and gave me a small nod. I smiled back. "Next is Emmett and Rose, Emmett is my older, and more annoying brother, and my best friend, and his girl friend, Rose." Emmett had a huge smile on his face and said a loud hi and waved. He was big and muscular, but had a very childish look to him with his short brown curly hair. Rose gave him an odd look and said a quick hi. She was stunning with her long blonde hair that hung in lose curls down her back. Everyone at the table laughed at Emmett's childish behavior. While they were all coming down from their laughing fit, I looked over to the last person at the table. My jaw dropped. He was gorgeous! His hair was a copper color, like something I've never seen before. It was untidy, like he just rolled out of bed, but it suited him well. His eyes, were a piercing green color, and he was tall, but toned. When he noticed me gawking at him, he smiled the most beautiful crooked smile I have ever seen. "Hi, I'm Edward, Alice's cooler brother." I smiled back at him. That comment caught everyone's attention. " I beg to differ!" Emmett scuffed, which brought on a whole new fitof laughter. I felt oddly at ease sitting here, which is never a good sign. I shouldn't be this relaxed around people, they can't be trusted. I need another drink.

I

**Hi, this is my first story so bear with me. This is just the first chapter so it's slow, and boring, but I promise it will get better. Review? Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

I forgot to put this last time, so here it is …

Declaimer- I don't own Twilight ..

Chapter 2 – Because of you.

Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid

_ "Bella! Get me a beer!" I heard Phil shout from the living room. I quickly got up from the kitchen table, and ran to the fridge to get Phil his beer as fast as I could so he wouldn't get mad. "Here you go Phil." I said in a small voice as I stuck my hand out for him to take the can of beer. He looked at the can then looked up to me, his face red with anger. "What the hell is wrong with you, Bella! Your eleven years old and you can't even open a can! Do you need to be punished!" I'm ten, I mentally corrected him. "I'm sorry Phil." I said as I opened the can of beer. "It won't happen again." He smiled at me and took the beer. He took a sip then threw the almost full can at me, staining my white shirt. "You better hope not. Clean up this mess then go to your room, I want you out of my sight. I'll be up later to give you your much deserved punishment, then maybe you'll stop getting on my nerves." He threw his head back and laughed when he saw the tears well up in my eyes. I quickly cleaned up the mess and ran for my room. "Cry baby." I heard Phil mutter from down stairs as I closed the door to my room. I curled up on the floor behind my door, but never let the tears fall from my eyes. He liked to see me cry, crying meant I was weak. But I am weak._

I blinked a few times, trying to get the tears that blurred my sight to go away. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. The little red numbers on my digital clock that sat on my night stand read 4:59 am. I sighed, and rolled out of bed. I looked out the window just as my dad was pulling away to go to work. I smiled instantly then headed down stairs to have a much need drink, and not of water. I grabbed a cooler and chugged it down, instantly relaxing. I took a few more and put them in my bag for later. If I keep up this morning ritual, I would need to find a way to get my own stash before Charlie started to notice.

I wasn't even in the school parking lot two minutes before Alice was screeching in my ear, hugging me more tightly then necessary. "Hi Alice." I said with a sigh. She instantly stiffened and pulled back, not letting go of my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes. "Bella Swan, have you been drinking?" She asked in a low whisper. Even though I knew no one was around to hear, I took a quick look anyway. "Shhh Alice, it's not a big deal, it was just one cooler, I needed it." She opened her mouth to object when we heard a deep, bellowing voice coming our way. "Needed what?" Emmett asked as he came up and slung his heavy arm over my shoulders. "Nothing." I said quickly as the Edward, Japer, and Rose showed up. Everyone was looking at me with curious expressions. "I have to go." I said quickly and took off toward the school before anyone could say anything.

I skipped English, to chicken to see Alice, which also involved me skipping out on lunch, which was okay with me, because I have a big bag full of strawberry coolers waiting for me. I made my way out to the empty parking lot and jumped into my truck to relax. I blasted some music and started chugging down the alcohol. I was just about to finish off my sixth one when I heard a loud bang on my window. I dropped the rest of my drink all over myself, great. I looked up to see who in the hell was bugging me and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head when I seen the shocked expressions on the faces of Alice and Edward. I gulped hard and slowly made my way out of my truck, instantly stumbling. Edward caught me and stabled me before I could fall flat on my face. "Hey, guys." I said in the best sober voice I could pull off. Everything seemed a bit fuzzy so I leaned back on my truck. "Bella, how much have you drank." Alice asked in a sad voice. I could see the confusion on Edwards face, and the tears in Alice eyes. I sighed, "Not enough."

So there it is, chapter two! I'm still trying to figure out this fan fiction thing but anyway. I know this one was a bit shorter, but now Alice and Edward have caught her so … what will happen next? ;) Should I do the next chapter in Alice or Edwards POV or leave it in Bella's? Review? Thanks!

P.S And thanks for my one reviewer for chapter one!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Alice's POV

If you're gonna jump, then jump far, fly like a sky diver  
If you're gonna be a singer, then u better be a rock star  
If you're gonna be a driver, then u better drive a race car  
'Cause I'm looking for a guard dog, not buying a Chihuahua

Disclaimer – I don't own Twilight.

"So Edward, what do you think of the new girl?" I asked Edward from the passenger's side of his Volvo. Without taking his eyes off the road, he simply shrugged. "She's very pretty, her clothes are a little out dated, but OH maybe we could go shopping this weekend! She can stay over Friday night then head out early Saturday morning, it sounds perfect! Then may-" "Alice!" Edward said in a loud voice. To loud for his little car. "Don't you see the little problem with that plan?" I looked at him confused. He looked over and seen my expression, then sighed. "What about your youth group?" I mentally rolled my eyes at him. "She can come too silly. I'm sure she'll love it. Not everyone hates it like you do, Edward." He let out a light laugh. "Sure Alice, either way maybe you should ask her first before you go planning all this." Such a party pooper.

Not long after we pulled into the school parking lot, I seen Bella park a few spaces away. I quickly ran over to her and pulled her into a hug. "Bella!" "Hi, Alice." She sighed. Instantly I stiffened when I smelled what I thought was alcohol on her breath. Just to be safe, I asked. "Bella Swan, have you been drinking?" I looked her straight into her eyes, not letting go over her shoulders. I wasn't giving her the chance to run. She looked around quick, almost nervous. "Shhh Alice, it's not a big deal, it was just one cooler, I needed it." I was about to object. Telling her she didn't need that garbage, and that it was only going to ruin her life, when Emmett came running over, slinging his arm over her shoulder, pulling her away from me. "Needed what?" He asked, just as the rest of the crew showed up. "Nothing." She replied quickly, running off. "What was that all about?" Edward asked, with a worried expression. I looked back and forth between him and the direction Bella took off too. "I'm not really sure."

I was determined to find out what was the cause behind Bella's drinking in English if it was the last thing I do. But, sure enough, as soon as I walked in the room, she wasn't there. Ten minutes into the class and she still hadn't shown up. Clearly she was hiding something.

The rest of the morning went by very slow. I know at lunch Bella would have to deal with me, no getting away. I walked into the cafeteria, already knowing she wouldn't be there. "Hey you guys, have you seen Bella around?" I asked as I approached the table. "Yeah, I saw her going out to her truck on my way here, why?" Edward asked curiously. "Crap!" I headed for the door, as fast as I could without running. As soon as I was out the door I broke out in to a full on sprint. I could hear someone running behind me, but didn't care enough at the moment to look and see who it was. I slowed down as I got closer to her truck, gasping for the much needed air my lungs needed. I should really join a gym or something. "Alice, what's wrong?" I turned around to see Edward walking up to me, out of breathe to, just not as bad. Stupid gym member. Before I could answer, his eyes landed on Bella's truck behind me, and I seen his eyes widen. I turned around to see what had his panties all in a bunch and seen Bella's head laid against the headrest, chugging down what looked like a cooler? I think. I don't know, I don't drink for frigg sakes! Either way it's not good. I ran over to her window and banged on the window, loudly. I could see her gulp, and then she slowly got out of her truck, swaying a bit. Edward helped stedy here then she leaned on the hood of her truck. "Hey guys." She slurred. "Bella, how much have you drank." I asked her in a quiet voice. I could feel Edward beside me, tense. I bet he was just waiting to catch Bella when she stumbled from being so intoxicated. She looked me directly in the eyes, "Not enough." And then she collapsed. Luckily, Edward caught her before she fell on her face. "Should we bring her to the nurse's office?" He asked. I shook my head." No, let's take her back to the house and have dad look at her. I don't want her getting in trouble for this." He nodded and picked her up in his arms, easily carrying her to his car and setting her in the back seat. "Here" He said as he tossed his car keys at me. "You drive." I looked at him in utter shock. He never let anyone, not even mom and dad drive his car. "Bu... you-"He rolled his eyes. "Just drive Alice." I jumped in the driver's seat and quickly headed toward home.

"Dad!" I hollered as soon as we were in the front door. Edward walked right past me and put Bella on the sofa in the living room. Just as he did, my mom came down the stairs. "Oh dear! What happened?" She asked in a worried voice. "Mom, she's just a bit, drunk. Put please don't judge her yet!" I added quickly. "There must be a reason why she does it, I just haven't figured it out yet. Where's dad?" "He's on his way home now; he should be here any minute." "Good."

"She should be okay. She' just had a bit too much; she'll come to anytime now. Just make sure she drinks lots of liquids when she gets up." "Thanks dad." I said from the floor in from of Bella's face. It's been almost an hour and she still hasn't gotten up. Edward hasn't said a word since we got here. He's just sat on the couch with her head in his lap. "Edward, do you have a thing for Bella?" I whispered as my parents left the room. "Shhh, Alice. No I don't." He whispered back. "But, just the way you've been acting. I just thought that maybe you two could come on a double date or somet-""Edward?" Bella said in a coarse voice as she started to stir in Edwards lap. He pushed the hair out of her face. "She's Bella, its okay. I'm here.

Sooo, chapter three! I'm not getting much feedback, even though I know there's quite a few that have added this to their favorites and what not. Reviews would be nice so I know what people are thinking Idea's are more than welcome! Thanks! I'll get chapter up asap if people want it!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter- four

Disclaimer – I don't own Twilight.

Even if I say  
It'll be alright  
Still I hear you say  
You want to end your life  
Now and again we try  
To just stay alive  
Maybe we'll turn it all around  
'Cause it's not too late  
It's never too late.

Edwards POV

"Edward?" I heard Bella's raspy voice ask. "Shhh Bella, it's okay. I'm here." I told her in a soothing voice. "What happened? Where am I?" She tried to sit up, but I gently pushed her back down onto the couch. "You're at our house, Bella." Alice chirped in. She walked over and kneeled on the floor by Bella's face and took one of her hands in hers. "You passed out from drinking so much. Bella, Why would you do such a thing?" Alice shook her head back and forth, trying to keep her tears from falling. Bella looked at her in shock. "Ali- Edwa-"She closed her eyes. "I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you guys to find out about this." Alice and I looked at each other. Neither one of us having a clue what to say next. "Can I go home, please?" Bella asked, looking at Alice with pleading eyes. "I'll take you. I said before Alice could say no. Alice's head snapped up and she glared at me. "Edward, could I talk to you for a minute?" She asked, standing up from her spot on the floor and draging me toward the kitchen.

"What is wrong with you, Edward!" She screamed at me as she slammed her little fist on the kitchen's counter top. "What are you talking about Alice? She asked if she could go home, so I offered to drive her." She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "Edward," She said in a more calmed voice. "Do you think that's such a good idea? We just caught her drinking, and then passed out from drinking too much? Do you think taking her home is the best idea? Maybe we could keep her here, maybe find out why she drinks at least. What if she goes home and does it again, but this time no one's there to help her?" Alice said, tears rolling down her face. I hugged her. For only knowing Bella for such a short time, she sure loved her. "It's okay Alice. I'll talk to her."

I was nervous as hell driving Bella home. She was silent in the passenger's seat beside me. She just kept looking out her window. Once we pulled up to her house, she mumbled a quick good bye and jumped out of the car. I turned off the car, took the keys out of the ignition and ran after her. "Bella! Can we talk, please?" I pleaded with her. She looked at me for a few seconds. Then, she opened the front door and gestured with her hand for me to go in. She walked past me and headed down a hallway, so I followed. We ended up in the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink?" She asked as she went to the fridge. "Sure." I replied. "She came back with two cans of coke. She sat one in front of me then sat in the seat on the other side of the table. "Sorry, coke is all we have. I hope that's okay?" "Cokes fine, thank you." She nodded. We sat there for a few minutes in silence. But it wasn't awkward. "Bella, are you okay?" I finally asked. I knew she drank, but so did a lot of people. I just wanted to know that she was okay. "No." She said, not looking up from her can of pop. I was surprised by her answer. "No? What's wrong Bella?" I reached my hand across the tables to take hers, but she pulled away. "Edward, you don't need to worry about me. I've been dealing with this for most of my life. I don't need your help, or anyone's. I'm beyond broken. I'm a burden. I was a burden to my mother and step father." She choked out. "I'm a burden to my father now, coming her with all my problems. And I won't be a burden to you and your family." I couldn't believe she thought she was a burden to us. If we didn't want t help we wouldn't. But clearly, she needed it, and I wanted to give it to her. Then, it hit me what she said about her mother and step father. "Bella, why do you think you were a burden to your mother and step father?" I asked in a low voice. Her head snapped up. The look on her face made my breathe hitch in my throat. She looked scared, like a little kid who is scared of the monster under the bed. "I don't want to talk about it, Edward." She composed her face. "Bella please?" She jumped up, knocking her chair over in the process. She started pacing the room. "Why do you even care, Edward? I'm nothing to you, this shouldn't be an issue! Just go home." I went up to her and pulled her into my arms, she tried to pull away but I didn't budge, I just held on tighter. After a few minutes, she stopped and relaxed against my chest. Her hands fisted into my shirt and I felt her tiny body tremble as she sobbed into me. I sat down on the kitchen floor, and pulled her down with me, sitting her on my lap. I took her face in my hands and looked her straight in the eyes. "Isabella Swan. You may not think this is an issue but it is. You are drinking to try and fix your problems and it's not going to work. It's killing you. Please, tell me what's wrong. I'll do everything I possibly can to help. You may think your nothing, but it's not true. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be wasting my time. Just talk to me please, Bella?" I pleaded with her. She sighed and removed my hands from her face. She stood up and looked away from me. I thought she was going to try and run away from me again but instead she took her shirt off. My first instinct was to look away but before I could she started talking. "Like I said I was a burden to my mom and step father, Phil." My eyes instantly snapped to her body. She had long scars all over her stomach, but the one that stood out the most, looked fresher than the rest, and it was across her neck. Right from one side to the other. Still pink and bruised. She pulled her shirt back over her head and walked away. I stood there frozen, not sure what to do next.

There you go, chapter four! What shall Edward do now? Poor Bella, will she let Edward help her? Review Review Review! Thanks! : )


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